The Good
Let’s take it back for a second – way back.
I was born in a small town on the north shore of Hawaii to two loving, hard-working parents and my fabulous, kooky grandmother Generosa. Generosa was a shimmering woman who lived up to her name – she’s the most glorious, generous human being I’ve ever had the privilege to know.
She embodied grace and edge – crazy, bold style laced with unmistakable brilliance. One of the first women to bring healthcare to the elderly in the state of Hawaii, she taught me entrepreneurship doesn’t have to be scary. She helped me realize that letting your sparkle shine for the whole world to see isn’t just a suggestion – it’s a birthright.
To this day, I ask myself WWGD – what would Generosa do? How would she pay it forward with loving precision?
While my parents spent the day on their grind at government jobs, teaching me the value of putting in the work to reach your dreams, I was soaking in every bit of the world I could. I devoured books, chatted endlessly with my grandma, and daydreamed extravagantly about what life was like beyond my tropical shores.
But my big ideas (and precocious vocabulary) weren’t well received by everyone.
The Bad
I was something of a fish out of water in my little town. I was a little too curious, a little too loud, and a little too bookwormy for my tiny Catholic school, or the public school girls I tried to make friends with. Somehow, my wild imagination threatened them. They accused of me being “weird”, and having delusions of grandeur. They’d prank call me, bully me, even appear on my doorstep ready to duke it out.
So I taught myself three rules for survival:
1) I had to fight for everything I wanted – even acceptance.
2) Women were mean, they would never like me, and I’d always get along better with men.
3) I should hide my extrovert nature for my own safety.
It would be a long time (10 years into my corporate career, to be exact) before I recognized the havoc those rules were wreaking on my life.
I had been so successful working for huge names like Oracle and Microsoft, but somehow, there was this big, sad, empty space within me. I was desperate to find more meaning in my life, and understand why I felt incomplete, despite everything. So I dove into personal development and transformative work to learn more about who I was, and who I was supposed to be.
The more progress I made, releasing old beliefs, forgiving my tormentors, and letting go of the scared little girl still inside me, the clearer the explanation became:
I wasn’t doing my life’s work.
I felt deeply called to serve women – entrepreneurs, specifically – but I was ignoring that desire because of my old fears. But, once I shifted away from that old “I won’t be accepted” story, my life and business changed completely.
While I was making huge leaps… I wasn’t out of the woods quite yet.
The Ugly
Fast forward a few years. It was 2006, and I took a risk: I left my well-paying corporate gig, re-mortgaged my house, and went gangbusters to open the most fabulous lingerie store in Hawaii (way before Victoria’s Secret set foot on the island).
That first year went flawlessly. I had a gorgeous shop, and an awesome team. Oprah had just made getting your bra sized trendy, and we raked in a cool $1.7M like nothin’.
Then, the 2007 recession hit. Hard. Cash started running down the drain like water. I lost my best staff, fought with my husband (leading to a divorce), and lost my amazing grandmother, all within 2 months.
I felt completely lost – and that was terrifying. I cried (buckets). I drank tea and nothing else for what felt like days on end, and withered to 100 lbs. My kids watched their mom turn into the opposite of the ‘fabulous Jen Kem’.
For what felt like the first time… I didn’t know what to do. And it was the most painful experience of my life.
Then, I managed to turn it around.
It started with a simple question. “Jen, how are you gonna get out of this one?”
I had no idea. So I had to take the next route: find someone who could help me.
The idea of being told “no” by the people I needed made me nauseous. Being told “no” sucks. Getting rejected from that online partnership, being turned down for that venture capital investment, or having someone laugh at you while you try to make big moves is like a punch in the gut.
But it was ask or die. So I bit the bullet, and went back to panties – big girl panties, that is – and went after the people, courses, and opportunities that would get me back on my feet.
With the help & love of brilliant minds I continue to call my mentors and friends, I honed in on what I was really all about (my brand), and I began my float back to my advertising and marketing strategy days.
Six years later, I’ve created a business that earns almost as much as my shop did – but with a fatter margin. That means more cash in my pocket, more chances to serve the world in bigger and better ways, and more determination to help others ask for what they deserve.
Could I have done it solo? No ma’am. The help I received didn’t just push me forward – it lifted me up. It made me strong. And it sped my journey up like you wouldn’t believe.
And every business owner craves to have their whole life aligned (note I wrote “aligned” not “balanced”…I believe balance is a myth); I’m proud to say as a result of being ultra-clear on my own mission and brand that I live in my highest values today: with a man who is perfectly imperfect for me (and I adore), 2 daughters who are growing into fine, young women, and a new baby boy in the family…along with 3 furry-legged kiddos who make all of it worth every day. I’ve added Flow to my Hustle. And it’s hot.
Which brings us to right here, right now.