I was the little girl from a small plantation town on a tropical island who wanted it all.
When I was in 2nd grade and all of the rest of the kids said they wanted to be a doctor, firefigher or teacher, I declared I wanted to be the General Counsel (head attorney) for Coca-Cola International – because they were the highest paid person and I could travel the world. Sister Aurora at St. Michael School was not amused.
In 4th grade my favorite movie/musical was doing a national search for Annie to star on Broadway. I made it to the rounds right before New York (me, a girl from a humble town in Hawaii!). Because I didn’t want to miss out on a field trip to the beach, I chose not to go. Ah, the easy decisions kids make, right?
In 8th grade I decided that even though I wanted to pursue a more untraditional education (even though I was a straight A student and actually loved school), that it was safer for me to follow the traditional path. That was the start of me neutralizing my desires, justifying what school and culture and dogma taught me to fear.
I wish being an adult felt easier sometimes, or at least I used to feel that way. The mind-blowing thing is, it’s 100% possible to live in the truth of who you are, to own your decisions and to feel good about how you’re making them. The opposite is true too – which is what I witness a lot these days, especially since the internet and social media have made FOMO over YOLO a total mindfuck of a problem while pursuing our dreams and desires.
I spent the better part of my 20s and 30s being someone else’s expectation of me; even though I was the “rockstar” ascending leader at work, it was all based on my need for accomplishment to showcase my worth. (hands up anyone?)
All along, I felt like Little Orphan Annie inside. You know that feeling that “you’re in this world, but not of this world?”
I realized my number one value was being offended – and the person that was offending it on a regular basis was ME. And that had to change or else i was doomed to feel like I was slowly living to die instead of living to live.
It all changed when I owned my highest value. And discovering it was a journey into me, not outside of me. I had to really look at what I desired the most.
My number one value is AUTONOMY (which later I realized was so perfectly aligned with the fact that my Dominant Brand Archetype is Ruler)…and the White Hot Truth of it was that I was living my life the complete opposite of autonomy.
But making the change to truly be seen, heard and paid to be me defied all of my learned values from growing up, from the ridiculously high expectations I had for myself, and the paralyzing fear of being a bad mother, wife and daughter I made true in my mind if I were to live another life.
What you see now is the other side to this story:
- A CEO of 3 multi-7 figure businesses in training & development, technology and brand experience
- A grateful mother of (now) 3 thriving, incredibly loving children and happy wife to a man who is 100% at my energy level
- A more empathetic human to others, but most of all, myself…a leader of myself.
- A proud and mighty FemmeFluencer, telling my truths and teaching my genius even when I’m scared to hit publish or worried no one will listen…
Be clear, my life is far from perfect (that would be boring) and I get disappointed, pissed, stressed like the rest of us. I’m an imperfect human with a shiny soul that every day strives to live to live.
And the more I grow, the less I want to do anything that gets in the way of what makes me feel good or produces the results I desire.
Because I know what I want.
And so my life and my business revolve around that value.
I solve for my gaps, not for what I already know. Because I don’t need to prove or protect anything from my genius and my value.
And neither do you.
Thanks for being part of my story – now I’d love to hear about you.
Did you see any of yourself in that story?
Feel free to use this as a catalyst to proudly share with the world your come to realization moment 🙂
Build your brand and your business, with all of
the fun and none of the fluff.
Love your white hot truth! Like you, I let society dictate what I did for a J.O.B. in my 20s and 30s. Fortunately, I had a boss who told me some truth … I laughed and smiled too much for the corporate world. I WOKE UP and started my own business. I am incredibly grateful to have heard that truth and taken massive action by starting a VA business in my 40s. Now in my 60s I’m happier than I’ve ever been. With your help and brilliant advice, Jennifer, I’m becoming even more of who I am so I can help others become more of who they are.
I’m so glad to hear that you’re taking charge of your life, Kathy!
Very nice. It was great seeing this show up in my Google app feed. 🙂